The ability to transform has always been invaluable to me – a privilege that I do not take for granted. I assess and reassess decisions that I have made for a long time and decide if they are still working for me now. I’ve changed and grown as a person tremendously over the past decade of my life. Many of my life choices that worked for me 10 years ago when I was 21 years old no longer work for me now. Some of the things that worked for me 5 years ago, 1 year ago or even a few months ago are different. There is tremendous power in embracing change. I am ready for it. We have to let go of old ideas, habits and beliefs in order to move forward – to progress.
Fear surrounds letting things go. Fear that you were doing things “wrong” before-that you were “wasting time”. Shame. One of the biggest fears -shifting your identity. “Who am I?” “Will I still be loved?” we ask. Loss of the familiar can be disconcerting no matter how much those things are holding us back. You might have to face some ugly parts of yourself, unacceptable beliefs you held, ways you treated others or stories ingrained in you since childhood.
Something missing from the dialogue about self-growth is that no matter where you are on your journey, you are worthy of being loved and accepted as you are right now.
It’s often challenging for me to let go of how I imagined my life would be or who I thought I should be. When I choose to let go of these limiting expectations, my ability for growth is immeasurable. Often the areas where we feel the most resistant to change-are the areas that we most need to evolve. We do have the strength to let go and innovate our own lives with gratitude.
It is okay to redefine what success means to you, to raise the bar on how we treat others and how we ourselves believe we should be treated. Not knowing what you want or what direction to go is okay too. It’s okay to be patient with yourself while you learn more and figure things out. Think creatively and pay attention to people you admire. It’s okay to try new things and realize that they don’t work for you. Keep trying, again and again. When facing losses or failures, try radically accepting yourself anyways. This will help you love and treat others with grace in their low points. Know that what works for you might not be what is best for others. They also may not be ready for change themselves. This is okay too.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help or seek therapy as you experience change. Get vulnerable with friends, allow someone the opportunity to be there for you. Lean in where you feel uncomfortable. Enjoy the process of figuring it out – stay grounded in the present. It’s okay to feel uncertain and off balance-it’s how we learn a new way of being. Create room in your life for things to come together and fall apart and come together and fall apart. Hold space for yourself to feel sad, confused, joyful, angry or any way that you feel.
Change is necessary and each choice that we make in authenticity to our true selves empowers others to do the same. When we have the courage to expand our hearts we will attract more people in our lives who are reflecting the same energy. You are smart, resilient and brave. I hope that in your life you are able to embrace change from a place of love and kindness for yourself and for the world because love is always stronger than fear.